No Future in Baseball

I always knew I wasn't so hot at baseball. In the youth games I played in they put me in as catcher but even that was a mistake. I was terrified of being hit by the bat. Who wouldn't be with 12 year old girls hitting the ball then throwing the bat so they could run to first base. One hit in the head was enough for me.

Yesterday I took our car into the local mechanic for a seat belt repair. I was walking home and passed a neighbors house. Their paper was on the sidewalk so I thought I'd just walk it up to their front door. They're good people. Help us out, so I thought I'd try to do something nice for them.

I'm standing at their front steps a mere 8 feet from their door, throw the paper, and wouldn't you know it, I chuck it into their bushes three feet to the right of me. What? Seriously? I can't throw a paper more then 3 feet? AND, and can't hit a large flat target 8 feet away?

Well, I managed to huck the paper to the BACK of the bushes. I stand there in total disbelief that I am that bad at throwing a large object. Then I burst into laughter, hoping, that no one else has witnessed my ineptness.

A minute passes while I debate my dilemma. How do I get the paper? Could this situation be any more ridiculous? Are they inside wondering what on earth I'm doing standing at the base of their stairs at 7 am? Are they wondering why they hear someone laughing?

I decide to stifle the laughter and grab a big stick. I get the paper out and take better aim. I manage to get the paper on the porch and then I run away, embarrassed but still laughing.